DUMBGEONS & DRAGONS

Season 1 • March 01, 2017

E06 - Dragons are Dangerous-er

↓ TXT ↓ SRT

Transcript

Ad breaks are marked in the transcript below. The audio player uses the ad-supported feed.

📢 Pre-roll Ad Break

Previously on Dumbgeons and Dragons.

One toad who looks fancy,

just looks much more fancy than all the other toads.

Is there a tiefling around here?

Yeah.

We're looking for one.

You walk out into the hall and you are struck.

Do I slide on a banana peel?

Yes.

You slide on a banana peel right into an ice troll's claws.

Oh no.

The tiefling looks up with an expression

of pale disinterest and asks,

have you come to save me or kill me?

Not that there will be much difference between the two.

It's clearly not her.

We should probably just leave.

You may rest until you feel ready to fight Arithator.

As long as he is down there and you are up here,

I feel you will be safe.

And she tosses you a bag,

rather small one by the looks of it,

and says, start filling her up.

You guys decided to take a long rest in her place.

So she takes you back into the scriptorium,

which is just off of her chamber there.

And you see three shelves in this otherwise empty cavern

that have been cobbled together

out of salvaged wood and whale bone

and other pieces of debris.

And a number of scrolls and books and parchments

and folios are all carefully arranged on the shelves,

all bearing markings of magical writing.

And I don't think any of you have,

none of you are arcane spellcasters.

No, you're-

I have arcana.

No, but you're not an-

I'm pretty sure my dwarf fighter

is an arcane spellcaster.

You're not arcane spellcasters,

because you'd have to be like a wizard or somebody who-

Oh, so I'm not as good as a wizard?

No.

Oof, druid shaming.

Your type of magic just kind of like comes to you.

You're like, I just figured this out

and here's fireballs.

Whereas wizards have to like study and read about them.

Oh, so I'm not well-read.

Oh, fuck.

Oh, jeez, oh, jeez.

Anyways, you guys go through this

and you like toss a bunch of stuff into a magic bag

and it all disappears, but...

Do we?

No.

Okay, I didn't think so.

So we're gonna have to carry this shit out

is what you're saying.

She does toss you a couple of bags

and you look around

and it kind of looks like a lot of stuff,

but she tells you to start putting it in there.

And as you begin putting the scrolls

and books into these bags, it-

You're having a bad feeling about this, you guys.

No, it just, the bags hold all of the stuff

and they look like rather small bags.

She tells you once we get to where we're going,

you can keep one of those bags.

Ooh.

So one of you now has a bag of holding.

Ooh.

I'll let you determine who's got the bag of holding.

Should we rock, paper, scissors for it?

Well, I don't know.

Thea seemed pretty excited about it.

I was just gonna say, I was like,

oh, Thea can just have it.

It's a magic item.

It seems like a thing she should have.

Well, and you know what, you guys,

I'll carry all your stuff.

Perfect.

Yeah, works for me.

Here you go.

All right, let's do this.

Everybody remember what she gave you

and what you got to do now?

I don't remember her giving me anything,

but I do remember what we have to do now.

I think we even made decisions

about our plans and everything.

I, uh...

She gave you one ring of cold resistance.

Oh, see, I got confused

because I already had a ring with stuff.

You've got a ring of spell holding.

I know.

Really, we got rings from her?

I do not remember that at all.

Me neither.

You got a ring.

So one of you gets a ring of cold resistance.

Okay.

Which halves cold damage and ice damage.

So anything dealt to you in the form of cold damage

would be halved.

I think the human should get that.

So I can make a lot.

Just whichever one of us has the lowest AC, I would say.

Oh, I think that's me.

Well, lowest, yeah.

Things to take into account would be AC

or hit points as well.

I think I have the lowest.

I meant hit points.

I have 57.

What do you got?

I think I have 67.

Damn it.

I hate it so much.

What?

How have I not died yet?

I don't know.

I don't know.

There's always today.

Don't give up hope.

You could always die today.

Hooray, everyone.

It's coming down the pipe.

I'll take the fucking ring.

And then also two arrows of dragon slaying.

You shoot it at whatever you're shooting it at.

Sorry.

Dragon.

And that creature must make a constitution saving throw.

But when you use it,

it adds an extra 6d10 piercing damage.

Whoa.

Wow.

So you have two of those.

If it misses, it keeps its magical properties,

but you got to go get it.

If it hits, it loses its magical properties

and it just becomes a regular arrow.

All right.

Who's our best bow person?

Well, probably me or you.

Do you have one as well?

I have a bow.

I have my oath bow,

which if I swear an enemy,

they get disadvantage on all.

Oh, wait.

I have advantage plus two advantage to attack.

All right.

Well, I don't have any sort of bow situation,

so I think it's just between Nularaaaa and Thea.

Well, there's two.

Why don't we both take one?

I was just gonna say, why don't we share?

Splitties.

Whoever misses, the other person has to go get it though.

Okay.

That seems fair.

That does seem fair.

And sorry.

What does that?

6d10, 10d6?

6d10 extra damage.

So whatever your bow normally does plus an extra 6d10.

And then the dragon then has to make

a constitution saving throw against that,

where they can take half that amount of damage.

Half of the 6d10.

Half of the 6d10.

They still take the full regular damage

that your bow would deal.

Neato.

Okay.

Which is your bow damage?

Just 1d8 piercing.

It's just a standard long bow.

Okay.

I have a 3d6 from my oath.

My oath bow.

From the golden deer.

Oath bow.

My oath bow.

Oath bow.

Let's never say that again.

All right.

I need a pillow for my butt.

Edit that out.

So you guys know what you're doing?

Where you're going down,

because there's two entrances.

You remember that?

Yes.

Yes, there's like a ledge of sorts.

Yeah.

If I recall.

And which has a less deathly type drop.

Well, if we're gonna use

the element of surprise potentially.

Yeah.

Should we drop right on him?

Yeah.

Let's do it.

Yes.

Let's just get her done.

Okay.

Because once we get down into his lair,

if he's not right there

and we're just out in the open wandering,

it's more of an advantage for him.

Yes.

Cause we like, he knows that we're here, right?

Like everyone said, like,

he knows you're here.

So.

So you use the ladder

and you climb down into Aruthatar's lair.

So you are on a place

referred to as the perch,

where Aruthatar, as you were told,

sometimes sleeps.

Visibility in this chamber.

There are banks of vapor

that roll through the entire cavern,

limiting visibility to 60 feet

for you carrying a light source.

So if you don't have a light source,

it's diminished by 30 feet.

I don't believe any of you were carrying

a light source specifically.

I produce flame and I hold it

to create a light source.

My sword's on fire, so.

For sure.

Old fire sword.

Each square for your map purposes signifies 15 feet.

So it's not exactly two scale with your characters,

but that is approximately how far

you can see at the moment.

So that first ledge there

drops down another eight feet.

And then there's another ledge,

which drops down.

That one kind of slopes down

and then there will be, we'll get there.

I don't want to tell you more than I have to here,

but you don't see him when you drop down.

So he's not on that ledge.

Is that feature on the right of the map,

just like a stalactite that look,

is just cut in half

because we're viewing it from above?

Like, is that a floor?

Yeah, it's a column, yeah.

Okay.

So yeah, it goes from the floor to the ceiling.

You see kind of stashed along

in some of the ledges and in the walls

and in the floor, you find,

you see treasure that lies within the ice.

So it's been frozen into a lot of the features

throughout the cave where you are now.

It's like the cave of wonders, you guys.

So is that a slide that we go down

to get down to where that pillar is?

Cause that's kind of what it looks like.

There's a bit of a gradual descent to it, yeah.

Let's go.

Yeah, let's go.

Cause it doesn't look like

there's anything up where we are.

Let's go.

Let's go get us a dragon.

So down on this ledge,

it's just an eerie calm that you feel right now

as you're walking into his lair.

Going down a little further,

you notice it start to get colder

and it was quite cold before

being in the iceberg.

But as you get further down,

you notice the temperature dropping even more.

I enjoy the heat of my produce flame

and I snuggle up to my,

my magic fire.

As you guys get close to this ledge

on the edge of this,

you hear from all around you,

a voice say,

it looks like the humans have brought me dinner.

Well, we have a dwarf and an elf here too.

So is that what you mean?

I think he means the humans that live up

that we had to fight.

Oh yes.

Okay, gotcha, gotcha.

Sorry, my bad, Mr. Dragon.

Yeah, be more clear, Aruthator.

My bad.

And I'm pretty sure we changed your name to Agruthator.

How dare you?

You don't see where it comes from though.

Did we try looking up?

Sure.

So is this misty stuff only,

the only thing that's really stopping us from seeing

a lot of stuff?

Okay.

Can I just use wind wall and blow it away?

Sure.

Okay, I do that.

Done, takes away.

So you conjure your wind wall and it disperses the fog.

Do you hold that wall anywhere or?

Concentration up to one minute.

Okay.

So I stand behind you guys, how about that?

I've just moved behind

because I know there's nothing behind us.

And I concentrate on just moving the fog around

so that we can see a little bit better.

Sure.

So you do that and the fog

down a little bit further into the pit begins to clear

and it looks like it's clearing around a creature

in the middle of the room, but you don't see a creature.

It's like a mass in the middle of the room.

There is an invisible mass in the middle of the room.

Can I pick up, like, is there like,

are there any rocks around?

Like it's a cave?

No rocks.

Are there any icicles or anything

that I can yank off of a wall?

Yeah, sure.

Okay.

I yank off an icicle and I throw it into my wind wall.

I move away from my dudes and I throw that

for bludgeoning damage at whatever is

in the middle of the room.

Okay.

So make an attack roll.

I don't have to.

I like this, I'm getting straight to it.

I just want to know, am I staring at like a big rock

in the middle?

I don't like, look, I feel like it's a diversion.

I think if Russ is making you roll an attack roll,

chances are it's not a diversion.

Well, he's just hoping I miss, I'm sure,

but I don't have to roll an attack roll.

I just get to roll damage.

I just want to know if it yells.

Totally.

That's what I was going to say.

I just want the dragon to be like, ow.

15.

So we know that that's where it is.

Dude.

15 with an icicle?

Yeah.

Bludgeoning.

Bludgeoning what?

I use my wind wall.

Anything that is thrown, it's bludgeoning 3D damage.

Well, that's the wind wall.

I thought you were just throwing an icicle.

No, I threw it into my wind wall so that it-

No, the wind wall does the damage.

Okay.

No, well, no, it's-

It's doing the damage.

Okay, fine.

Then I wind damage him.

I was pretty sure that anything that gets blown

in the wind wall is what creates the bludgeoning

damage.

Wind can't bludgeon you.

The wind wall creates the bludgeoning damage.

Not something you just throw at.

Okay, I focus my wind wall energy into the middle

of the room to create bludgeoning damage.

God.

Such a stickler, Ross.

I know.

I see it.

I see it, it's there.

I thought I was being really clever,

throwing something into the wind to,

cause I thought it was just blowing hot air.

Or just air.

It's all good.

15 damage.

So-

Write it down.

As you hit this mass in the center of the room,

it becomes visible as an ancient white dragon.

He's so pretty.

And what you know of dragons

is that they don't generally turn invisible.

But you know Ruthatar knows spells.

He's a well read son of a bitch.

Seems like he might've learned a thing or two

from those stolen books.

Damn his learning.

He says,

well, if you're going to fight back,

I might as well just kill you now.

Good.

I don't like waiting.

You notice-

As opposed to what?

You notice a blue charge start in his mouth.

Did he not take my damage?

He took your damage.

Don't worry.

Oh, wait, hold on sorry.

He can take a saving throw.

He failed it.

Okay, good.

Yeah.

Roll for initiative though.

All right.

We wanted to start this like now, right?

You guys.

Oh yeah.

We want to get into it.

Good, good.

Okay.

15.

16.

19.

Jesus.

Whoa, way to go guys.

Turns out Carla's right at home

in the frozen dragon lair.

I didn't see you write down his damage.

I got his damage.

All right.

16.

He kept saying, yeah, but-

I need you to make sure that Russ

writes down all of my damage.

I will try to keep him as accountable.

I can.

All right.

So Nulara is up first.

Well, I guess we want to dispatch

of this dragon as quickly as possible.

So I should try and hit him with my magic arrow, right?

Totally.

Why not?

Do we want to like save that

and really surprise him with it?

Well, sure.

But I mean, my strong weapon is a sword

and I'm not going to run-

Down there.

90 feet to fight him with my sword right now.

Fair enough.

Well, and Fia still has one, right?

I do.

I'll hold onto it until the end.

This is my strongest weapon against this bad boy.

So-

Don't miss.

Yeah, totally.

Okay.

So I rolled a 14 plus five is 19.

19 is not good.

You're also,

also maps might become a little bit of a sticking point.

You're just standing behind an ice, an ice thing.

Not, I'm over here.

So does she,

does she shoot and miss

or does she have a problem getting the bow on her,

getting the air on her bow?

Like what's happening?

No, she shoots it off and it deflects off of its scales.

So it is-

Can you put like a little duty since we have to chase

Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely.

So let's-

Can you also tell me what noise it made

when it deflected off its scales?

Thank you.

Yeah.

That was pretty good.

It was pretty echoey.

So we'll just give you-

You've been doing foley work for us?

It's all I've been doing.

Foley work.

Just sitting here, just making noises to myself mostly.

Not getting paid for anything, but-

Oh, I did not say you were getting paid for it.

That's fair.

While you're doing that,

let me just say that if a 19 does not hit this dragon

I'm only using magic, you guys.

There you go.

There's a red one.

So it is in that area there.

So yeah, that's your first hit.

I think you got more than one, don't you?

Oh yeah.

Yeah, but what am I going to do?

You can make your way down.

No, she already moved.

I could.

She can't use that as another move?

Oh, you could down.

Yeah, you could down play an action and move down.

I'm just saying, don't throw your sword down.

I'm not going to throw my sword as well.

Take that.

Because that would be crazy.

I do have a spear.

I'll throw a spear at him.

Okay.

Why not?

That will not do it.

Cause that was a two.

Even with that plus nine, it's 11.

I was not going to do it.

Okay.

That's your turn.

Yeah, cause I moved, right?

So that's my action.

Yeah.

I guess that's my lame ass turn.

Oh, Donnie can try and do something.

Sure, yeah.

Let's see what Donnie can do.

Do it, Donnie.

If Donnie one shots him, I'll be so impressed.

Donnie rolled a critical hit.

Woo!

Donnie!

The best Donnie roll that has ever happened.

And what does he get?

I think he gets a plus four to a hit.

Yep.

So that's a 24.

Please tell me that hits.

24 hits, yeah.

Well, you hit a critical,

so it's always a hit when you roll twice.

Oh, you always get your hit.

So we just need to roll criticals nonstop, guys.

No problem.

So that is five damage,

and then a constitution saving throw.

Oh my god, he's paralyzed.

Paralyze the dragon.

That'd be so great.

He is not paralyzed.

Okay.

Well, he got that five damage,

so that's better than nothing.

Yeah.

And the dragon falls over dead.

At the end of Donnie's turn,

he flaps his wings, jumps up,

moves closer to you,

and beats both wings together in front of him,

and everybody has to make a dexterity saving throw.

But Dewey, since I still have my wind wall going on,

does that not kind of combat his wing wind?

Where's your wind wall?

Because I envisioned you clearing your wind wall

to the sides, and then.

Then how did I hit him?

Because I said I focused it on him.

You threw the wind wall at him, it was over with.

No, it's a concentration of up to one minute.

It just kind of keeps going until one minute is done.

He moves through your wind wall.

Oh, damn.

Because your wind wall is a wall, right?

So, and then.

That was gonna be my move, you guys.

I can't use my wind wall.

Okay, constitution saving throw.

Dexterity saving throw.

Oh, 19.

17. Nice.

15.

What about Donnie?

Does Donnie do this?

I think he's just stuck with me.

Everybody takes 13 bludgeoning damage,

and is knocked prone.

Jesus, are you serious?

From the wind.

You heard me say 19, right?

I did, don't worry, I did.

How much damage was it, 11, you said?

13.

So 11.

And then he moves kind of over here.

How long are we prone for?

Well, being knocked prone is just knocked on your back,

so you have to use your move action to get back up.

And it's Flynn's turn.

Hooray.

Do something, Flynn.

Well, if I have to use my move action to get up,

I don't exactly think I can get anywhere near him,

can I?

So yeah, you have to stand up as your movement.

Yeah, otherwise you can crawl,

and you're at disadvantage if he moves closer to you.

Sweet, yeah, that sounds like a winner.

I will stand up.

All right, guys, on he goes.

You can, yeah, you could,

you can stand up and then delay your action

if on his turn he moves closer, if you wanna do that.

I don't know, is it really gonna get me anything?

I don't know.

Just to say you hold onto your melee action

until after his turn, because then it resets

and you'd lose it anyways.

So if for whatever reason you think

you can do something after his turn,

then you can do something.

Okay.

Okay, Thea.

I get up.

I'm going to shoot him with my bow,

not with the special arrow though,

just with a regular arrow.

Okay.

With my oath bow, I whisper my swift death

to my enemies, to those who have wronged me.

Can you move me forward a little bit?

I want, I wanna, or no, no, I know we can't move forward

because-

You have to stand up.

Yeah.

Is Flint like right in my way?

Is there no way?

Yeah, well, your line of sight,

you could still shoot over his shoulder there, yeah.

All right.

And remember we're giant in comparison

to the actual scale of this.

Okay, so let's see how we do here

with a really good, really good attack roll.

Super good attack roll is going to be.

I'm trying to save some of my magic for later.

Fuck.

And I piss myself.

That's how well that roll went.

It was a two.

And you just scream,

Hey guys, did you know we're fighting a dragon?

Yeah.

Holy shit.

Did you want to be able to go get your other arrows back?

I can mark those down too.

Yes, please.

Okay.

Let's see.

Did I even, I feel like I tried to unsheath it,

like get it out of the quiver

and I just dropped the entire stack of arrows

and now I'm crawling around on the floor

trying to pick them up.

That is something, yeah.

Okay.

So cut.

This is why I only use magic, you guys.

All through your guys' turns here,

you've noticed the blue light in its mouth growing.

Oh yeah.

We didn't forget about that.

I have a bad feeling about that blue light.

And it lets go his cold breath.

So you guys have to make a constitution saving throw.

Just make it again.

Amy dies.

No.

I rolled a one and then I rolled a two.

So I guess it was better than the first two.

I don't have that ring.

You got cold damage.

I have the ring?

Okay, I have the ring.

What does the ring do?

It gives you habs of cold damage.

Yay.

It's probably good we gave her that.

Guys, I promise I won't roll anymore

and I'll only use my magic, I promise.

I'm being punished.

I got an 18.

I had a 15 plus four so that's 19.

Okay.

Everybody sucks.

Everybody gets cold damage.

So many dice.

No, that's not, no.

11, 18.

We just heard 11, 18.

So many dice.

There's still more rolling.

I know he's been rolling for like 35.

He's whispering numbers like 35.

Why are you still rolling, Russell?

Why are we still rolling?

Well, I have to do what's in the book.

Do you?

I don't know.

Oh, but do you?

Holy shit.

Friends, it's been nice rolling with you.

Yeah, it's been good.

Same here, I think we may have all just died.

Okay, so.

I can't wait till I get to DM a campaign

and murder one of you.

Right?

Fortunately, everybody, because Thea has the ring,

takes half damage, because you guys saved.

So you guys each take 30 damage.

Oh my God.

So we have damaged him for five.

No, no, I damaged him for 15.

There was 20 damage total.

True, true.

The wind wall, I forgot about the wind wall.

Oh my God.

Well, I have only 24 hit points already, so.

Told you we should have tried bargaining with him.

So it's Nulara's turn.

Oh, no, it's not.

Hold on.

No, it's not.

Hold on, I still have to kill you all.

No, everybody make a wisdom saving throw.

Oh God.

It's wisdom, what's he gonna do with wisdom?

17.

Oh, 19, what?

I rolled an 18 plus two is 20.

You guys are doing so much better than I am.

What did you roll?

I rolled a 17.

Okay, so everybody is not afraid of him.

We're just mad.

I very much am.

Yeah, that seems pretty stupid.

He pulled something called frightful presence on you

in attempt to fear you into an advantage over you.

But you all succeeded that.

I assume Donnie did, but we'll just say

that's the same as Nulara's.

So now it's Nulara's turn.

Okay.

So there are the columns you see around you.

The arrows are kind of behind him.

We'll say he moved for this way here.

And so the arrows are quite far away

from where you guys are at this point

or the special one that you flew off there.

I guess, oh, what are the ways down there even?

Is there one near the tip of his wing,

like kind of behind Flint there?

That kind of looks like maybe a way down

or is it all the way down past the two pillars

and down there?

Both, yeah.

How long ago?

The drop is 12 to 16 feet.

Is that if we go over where it looks like it's ridgy,

it's 12 to 16 feet?

Exactly.

If we go where it looks rampy, it's rampy.

Yeah, yeah, more rampy.

Those are my engineering terms.

I think rampy is structurally correct.

Yes, I'm fairly certain.

So I'm still laying down,

but I'm not gonna stand up

because for my action, I'm going to cast

pass without a trace

because we're gonna fucking die if I don't.

Like I have 24 hit points.

So that kind of just happens.

That just happens.

I just can do that.

For one hour, each creature I choose

has a plus 10 bonus.

Russ is opening a book, you guys.

Keep reading, you're fine.

For the duration, each creature you choose

within 30 feet of you has a plus 10 bonus

to dexterity, stealth, checks,

and can't be tracked except by magical means.

A creature that receives this bonus

leaves behind no tracks or other traces of its passage.

A veil of shadows and silence radiates from you,

masking you and your companions from detection.

Yep.

So can't see us anymore.

Maybe you should take one of your hit dice

or something.

I know I will.

I don't think I can in the middle of a fight.

Can you take a healing kit?

Healing potions if you have them.

Well, I guess it depends.

So I normally would have one action and two attacks.

If I'm not attacking, can I take actions?

Because I'm literally still laying on the ground.

I'm just invisible now.

Because that was my action.

Yeah, you can, well, you'd still have

your bonus action of a healing surge

and you could move to stand up.

You have your movement, you have your action,

and then you have any bonus actions

or reactions that you potentially have from things.

So your bonus action is a healing surge.

Your action would have been passed without a trace

and then you still have your movement,

which would be standing up.

Okay, that probably is a good idea.

I should probably just, 24 is not a lot.

Like he dished out 30.

I have 14.

When we saved.

Yeah, exactly.

Okay, so that is a seven.

Sorry, bear with me while I just like adjust my sheet.

Crunch those numbers.

Okay, so I am, honestly, I don't even want to stand up

because he still knows where I am.

I'd rather just stay laying down behind that ridge.

But you have a disadvantage if you lay down.

Oh.

Oh, but then you're, but then.

You have disadvantage on your attack rolls.

So it was an attack roll on you.

So from him would have advantage

if he moves closer to your location.

Yeah, he has to be within five feet, I think.

Yeah.

Oh, okay.

Cause now I want to be intentionally laying down

cause it does look like there's a ridge there, right?

So. Yeah, a little bit of one, yeah.

Okay.

So I guess that's my turn

cause I can't really attack anything

cause I have, I threw my spear at him.

Okay, Donnie, roll another crit.

Oh yeah, Donnie.

Donnie's just going to carry us this fight.

I think he might.

📢 Mid-roll Ad Break

He's not, he rolled an 11, which is pretty good.

So it's like 15 for Donnie's good, but not good enough.

So Donnie flies over to him to attack him.

Yeah.

So he's no longer within your pass without a trace.

Well, it's 30 feet.

Which is two squares by the map scale.

Yeah, look at where that dumb dragon's head is.

It's only two squares away from me.

That's true.

Okay, okay.

Yeah, that's fine.

Yeah, okay.

Flynn's turn.

Hooray.

Nobody wants to turn anymore.

We're like, no.

So we have to stay close to Carla or to New Laura

in order to maintain this pass without a trace?

Within 30 feet.

Okay.

So it's not like it can just stick with us

because she cast on us and we can go.

No, within 30 feet from her.

So two squares out from wherever her character is.

All right.

Well, in that case,

I guess I'll try using a throwing axe or two

to bash him with.

You could still sneak away, right?

Like right now we all just disappeared.

So we could still try,

like even if you reappear behind him,

not saying that's what you should do,

but like he might not, know what I mean?

Yeah, but we have to all stick close to you.

Just to stay invisible.

But if you walk away while invisible and then reappear

and he's not looking at you,

he won't, even if he can still see you,

if he's not looking at you,

because he doesn't know where you went.

Just a thought.

That's true, but where would I go?

30 feet in any direction until he sees you.

I don't know, like underneath him,

chop off his head?

To run and jump on top of him with your axe?

Well, I mean, I could do that

because he's technically two squares away from me

as well, just diagonally.

Yeah.

Can you jump on him and chop off his head

with your axe?

Because that shit would be dope.

I have a feeling I'm going to jump on him,

hit him with my axe, and then become very visible.

I think he'd know you were there anyway.

Even if you weren't visible,

he'd probably know you were there.

Probably.

With his dying breath.

Oh, I like that.

All right, I'm going,

so bonus action has to happen at the end for us?

No, it can happen at any point.

Okay, I'm going to bonus action me up some healing,

right about Mia,

except I'm going to use my second wind

because it gives me more healing options.

Let me just flip open my book here for one sec.

Yeah, second wind.

Protect from harm, bonus action, 1d10 plus my level.

After last game where we kind of just wandered around

and chatted with people,

I feel like really in over my head now.

Yeah, same here.

It's been so long since we fought anything

and now we're fighting a dragon.

All right, so that's seven plus my level, so 15?

So 15 hit points back for me.

And yeah, I guess I might as well,

well, I technically have two attacks.

So would I be able to attack him twice?

Well, like one jumping down on him

and then one while I'm down there, I guess.

Yeah, if you're jumping on him,

there's going to be a check against

for something obviously,

but you can still make your two attacks, yeah.

All right, well, I will attempt to jump onto

like his neck area.

Okay.

And barring that, I guess, if I miscalculate my jump,

I'll just try and attack him as I go.

Okay.

All right, so some sort of dexterity check?

Yeah, we'll say your decks against his,

oh, he's not going to see coming,

so let's say your athletics against his athletics.

So plus advantage because I'm invisible?

Yeah.

Sweet.

Oh, crit 20.

What?

I should have recorded that and sent you all pictures

because that was awesome.

We're going to say you land on his neck then.

Yeah, you do. Sweet.

All right, well, it's time for a little hack and slash

via my two-handed axe.

Yes.

So 14, seven, so 21 on the first one.

That is good, yeah.

Hooray.

Hooray.

Okay, guys, we know 21 is,

six and seven is 13 plus four is 17 damage

on the first volume of attacks.

Okay.

And that is 19.

Oh crap, 19 wasn't good, was it?

19 is not good.

Although am I technically still advantaged

because I'm on his neck?

I'll give it to you this time, yeah.

All right.

Turns out Russ is a great DM, guys.

He just has some shittier plan later, I'm sure.

Oh, geez, of course he does.

Like, I'll give you this one.

Yeah, yeah, you can have this one.

So that's 18 damage on the second volume of attacks.

I scream, you the man.

Make a strength saving throw there, Flint.

Ride that fucking bronco.

He is going to attempt to throw you off.

That is fair.

Flinton, you're so strong.

Right?

Well, strength is like my best one.

17 and four, so 21.

He rolled 15, so you still maintain position

on his back. Yes, Flint.

Ooh, put a rope between his mes and ride him.

Flint Dragon Rider at your service.

Thea, your turn.

I kind of wish you were thrown off now

because as I want to attack him

with a giant flaming ball of fire,

I'm a little concerticus.

Well, perhaps you could aim your ball of fire

at a different part of his body that is not his head.

I think I will.

I think I'll aim at his wing to the left wing

that's not near Flint.

I throw my flaming sphere at him.

I move a little, just a little smidgey closer.

Just like I'm still invisible, but okay.

And he gets 3d6, 12 damage.

And I'm going to use my bonus action to heal myself.

He gets to make a saving throw against your fire damage.

If he fails, he takes double damage.

If he succeeds, he takes half.

Okay, that sounds okay.

He succeeds.

So he takes half damage.

So what did you roll, 12?

12, so he gets six.

Six damage.

What is the difference between a healing kit?

A healing kit is an item.

Healing surge is using one of your hit die.

And the healing potions are healing potions.

And what does a healing potion?

I think it was 2d4 plus two or something.

Yeah, or I can take a 1d8.

Let's try for a 1d8.

Yay, cured by one.

Oh, you must feel amazing.

You know what?

Just completely rejuvenated.

Russ, do my deer skin moccasins and hat

provide any cold resistance?

You're doing no cold resistance.

You're doing all right though so far.

Okay, all right.

So it's his turn.

And each of you begins to feel like something is trying

to work its way into your mind,

trying to read your thoughts.

I just start thinking about big dicks.

Lots of dicks.

Just a big bag of dicks.

That poor dragon never saw that coming.

And it leaves your mind.

You got the fuck right out of there.

You're sick, lady, you're sick.

Everybody make a wisdom saving throw.

Seven, that's with my four bonus.

Guys, I'm rolling like shit.

The dicks did not pay off.

Name me your sex tape.

15.

Hey, I got 15 too.

Well, I rolled a 13, I got two for wisdom so.

16 minus one.

Let's see what that gets at.

You begin to see a look on the dragon's face

as he's staring directly at Nularaaaa and Thea.

Like he knows exactly where you are.

And he spins his body, swinging his tail towards you.

Does he take a jump to the left?

And a step to the right?

Do you put his hand on his hip?

I don't know any more of the words.

You didn't have to admit that.

You could have been like, that's enough.

That's 21 against each of your AC.

No.

That hits me.

Even though I'm still laying on the ground.

How can he knock me over

if I'm already laying on the ground?

That's true.

I forgot you were laying on the ground.

Hey, that's an advantage to you.

21 against Thea's AC.

Yeah, I fall over like a sack of him.

I'll probably die.

I'll probably die from just falling over.

How much hit points do you have?

How many hit points do I have?

Do I have that many?

Not many.

Not many.

No.

So you take 12 damage.

Yeah.

Are you sure?

I'm sure.

I'm sure you take 12 damage.

Guys, guys, I have three hit points left.

Oh my God.

Flint.

Guys, I'm gonna die.

Flint, make another strength saving throw there.

Okay.

Strength, don't fail me now.

That is a 15.

I expect him to be like two.

He got 11, so you're still on there.

All right.

So he is facing roughly this ish direction.

Because of his cool dance?

Because of his cool dance.

Anya Lara, you're up.

Okay, well, I guess I'll stand up now

and I'm gonna shoot him in the butt.

Do it.

Shoot him in the butt.

Also, sorry, I never use spells,

but you know, shit's real sour right now.

I really should.

So I'm gonna also use hail of thorns,

which is a bonus action.

When you hit a creature with a ranged weapon attack

before the spell ends,

the spell creates a rain of thorns

that sprout from your ranged weapon or ammunition.

Ooh.

Okay.

In addition to the normal effect of the attack,

the target must make a dexterity saving throw.

Then he gets some damage.

Flint, so how about I just roll for that arrow?

Arrow shooting first.

Yeah, absolutely.

Before I get real excited to throw anything else.

That's not gonna hit,

because he's so fucking strong.

It's 19, but I know that's not good enough,

so I'll try again.

Okay.

Because I get those two attacks.

Motherfucker.

Okay, I'm just shooting arrows all willy-nilly.

Is there any chance there's like giant stalagmites

or stalactites on the roof

and then Carla could shoot one of those down?

She would still have to roll a dice

that would allow her to shoot one of those down.

Well, yeah, but if she's not hitting the dragon though,

she needs significantly less to hit

some sort of stalactite.

Is that the one that hangs down?

Yeah.

That also could be an option, yeah.

Also, I know that I can't, oh,

cause I can't, standing up was my action, wasn't it?

Your move action, yeah.

So I can't even move, I'm still just,

I'm invisible, but I haven't even moved.

He'd never guess, because it makes no sense.

Except he's looked right at us.

He's not gonna stay in the same place.

Oh man, that's really funny.

At least he's not facing us now.

He can see Flint now, but I think he knows Flint's there.

Well, I'm on his neck.

We've been whispering, like, really.

Oh, sweet nothings, sweet nothings in his ear.

Like really break him down, just, you know,

emotionally, just damage him, yeah.

Fucking dragon.

You're like, I fucked your dragon mom.

Oh, I guess John Cain is going to

try and bite him on the butt.

Sure.

And he fails, he fails at biting him on the butt.

Oh, I guess, sorry.

Donnie can move more though.

Well, Donnie technically flies, so.

Donnie should have 30 walking or six, or.

Yeah, I think it's 60 flying.

But I think you just kept him close last time

so that he would still be invisible.

Yes, that's pretty, like what is the roof situation?

I don't know, I mean, he's pretty small

compared to the giant dragon.

The ceiling, they're rough ceilings

that rise up about 40 feet.

There are varying heights, but yeah,

it's a rough, rough ceiling.

Okay, so he went, it's 15 each.

Okay, so he basically went 60 to bite on the butt.

So he just kind of goes up to the ceiling, I guess.

This time.

This time, all right.

It is Flint's turn.

Okay.

You're the only one hurting him,

so do something amazing.

How many hit points do you have left?

Three.

Okay, so I'm starting to think that I should

really try and take this dragon's focus

and put it onto me instead of you guys.

That'd be super, and that'd be great.

So what I'm gonna do, can I take my move action

after I do my first attack, Russ?

Yep.

Okay, what I'm gonna do is I'm going to go

for my first attack, so I'll roll my attack dice here.

Then I'm gonna jump off of his neck

and try and draw his attention

while attacking him from the ground.

Okay.

All right, here goes nothing.

Do it.

22, all right, that's a hit.

11, nice, and 10, sweet, and four is 25.

Okay, I'm gonna take that down

so I don't get to yell that.

Thank God.

That's right, you write that down.

You write that damage down.

Okay, so yeah, now I'm going to jump off of his neck

and then try and give him a big old uppercut hit

to the other side of his neck

while I'm standing on the ground.

Before you do that.

Okay.

So you take a big chunk out of him with that hit

and then you jump off.

And as you jump off, you notice that the temperature

from sitting on top of him to where you hit the ground,

the temperature drops significantly.

You have to take a constitution saving throw.

But you do remember I'm wearing deer skin moccasins

and a hat, right?

You betcha.

That's why you're making the constitution saving throw.

Otherwise it would just happen.

Okay, fair enough.

So that's a 16.

All right.

You're good to do whatever you want to do next.

Sweet.

Yeah, I'm gonna try and,

well, I'm gonna do two things actually

because I have a bonus action attack

that I'm also going to use because why not?

We might as well throw everything at him.

Yeah, so I'm gonna try and put that axe

straight into his neck from down below.

Yeah, you will.

How tall is this dragon?

This dragon is 15 feet,

standing to roughly the top of his head.

Okay, cool.

I was just curious.

Sorry, continue.

Slash that mother.

All right, so that is a 19 again.

Okay, I will now take my bonus action surge

and attack him yet again.

There we go, 22.

That's much better.

Eight and eight is 16 and four is 20.

The long pause from Raz and I look over

and he's like pencil writing it down.

I got it, don't worry.

I've got every day's piece of damage, okay?

After Flint takes that hit,

Nularaaaa, you feel in your mind

that he kind of comes back to your thoughts

and just kind of looks over

and checks to see that you are in the same spot there.

And now it's Thea's turn.

Can I take my healing surge and a healing potion?

The potion would be your action, but yeah.

Oh, no.

But if it's the difference between you dying

and having another turn.

I'm barely hanging on here, okay?

Okay, so I get five and okay.

So I do have, I can move my flaming sphere

for another bonus action.

Can you put it up his dragon butt?

Yeah, I do plan on putting it up his dragon butt.

Amy, you can throw it at his neck

that I've been trying to carve up

because I'm currently off of it.

Oh yeah, true.

I can only send it 60 feet.

I can't make it all the way to his neck.

Okay, but it is.

Okay, I throw it at his butt.

Okay.

Yeah, okay, and so he takes 3d6

or potentially half of that.

Or potentially double that.

12 again.

Yes, he takes double that.

Yay, 24.

Yay.

And then I'm also going to blight him

because guys, I might die here

and I just wanna help you.

You got like death saving throws, people can help you.

Yeah, okay, I'm gonna blight him.

Wait, does anybody have healing stuff?

I guess potions.

I know, Amy changed us

in healing spells. I have potions and stuff.

Oh, you guys are fucked.

Well, because I could only use it once, I didn't.

Hey!

That's not kind.

I'm just kidding.

He's just trying to distract me.

I'm gonna blight that motherfucker.

I essentially suck every ounce of living

and ass out of you. Yeah, sure.

Go for it.

And transfer it to yourself, hopefully?

Ooh, that'd be a good trick.

That would be a great trick.

37 damage.

And I make a what saving throw?

Constitution versus my spell.

That's a 20.

Fuck you, fine.

You get to take half.

18? 18.

Unless we're rounding up.

No.

That could have been 37, you guys.

I think his dice are rigged.

I don't like it.

I'm getting a bad feeling over here.

What?

Guys, guys, oh wait, I haven't moved.

Can I move?

I did all that from the ground.

Well, you were standing up.

Oh, right.

But you can move.

I can move?

Yeah.

I move myself behind the pillar.

Well, stay within 30 feet of me, though.

Oh yeah, I'm moving more toward you at this point.

Perfect.

Yeah.

I just wanna be behind that big stalactite or mite.

I'm not sure if it's coming from the ground

or from the ceiling.

But I wanna be behind it.

Cause it's his turn now.

Yeah, sure.

And I might die.

Okay, Flint, you're on the floor

in front of him there, are you?

Sure am.

You're like, no, no.

Remember my sacrifice, everyone.

I scream, we'll remember you.

But you can't hear me because we are in the,

we're without a trace, so you can't hear or see us.

So Flint, he comes at you.

I figured he would.

Guns a blazing with his tail and claws there.

Uh, so his bite, that is a 15.

That's not good enough for you.

His claws, however.

Yeah, they are.

One misses and the other one is a 20, not critical.

So one of his claws takes a big old chunk out of you.

How you doing for hit points over there?

Uh, I'm okay, not great.

Okay, that is 14 slashing damage.

Okay.

So many mouse clicks.

And that's what he does.

Nulara, your turn.

Uh, okay.

Ready?

Okay.

Let's try my amazing arrow hail of thorns trick again.

Do it.

Not on the first time, because that was a six.

So that will not do it.

That was just a practice.

Okay.

This might be okay.

Cause sorry.

I just have to see what my plus is on that.

So that is a 20.

That's a 20 hit.

A 20 hits.

Yay!

Thank God.

Okay.

So he doesn't get a ton of damage from that.

Oh, he gets eight damage from that.

And then there's those amazing thorns

that also went with it.

Right.

So he has to do blah, blah, blah.

Creature takes one D10 piercing damage,

but I can do it as a second level spot.

So that'll be two D10,

but he does get a dexterity saving throw.

So should I do damage first and then you do yours or?

Yeah, do your damage first.

Cause it takes half if I miss it or if I save it.

Yeah, okay.

Yeah.

Okay.

So that was a two, which is not amazing.

And that is also a two.

So, great.

One two.

Um, his save throw is a 15.

15.

Oh, spell save DC is 13.

Okay.

So, wow, he gets an amazing two damage.

Yay!

But plus that eight that he got earlier.

That's two more than he had before.

True.

Um, and that was my second.

So Donnie isn't going to attack him.

Donnie is going to fly sneakily

cause he is no longer invisible,

but really Dragon doesn't care about him.

He's tiny.

He is going to go one, two, three, four.

And he now is over near where my arrow is.

Ooh, Donnie.

Nice, Donnie.

So that's what he's doing for his turn.

Yeah, cause he...

Because he's not taking an action,

you can downgrade it to a movement, an extra movement.

Oh, snap.

Oh.

Oh, so he can go his whole distance again?

Yep.

Because yeah, he's not taking an action.

So you can still use that as something else,

but it just, it's, you know,

technically downgraded from the amount of damage

he could do, right?

Oh, okay.

Well, but then let's say his action is picking up the arrow.

So now he has the arrow and he's still there.

That would be like a bonus action.

So like picking, unsheathing,

any of that is an implied or bonus action.

So it's just something that kind of happens

before you do your...

You know, things are bad when I'm so excited

that Donnie can fly somewhere,

pick up an arrow and fly,

not quite back to me,

because he still can't fly that far,

but he can, if he can pick it up where he is

and then he can go so far.

He's so close to me.

He's so close.

In fact, he's so close, he's invisible again.

There you go.

And he has my arrow and his little paws,

his little claw paws.

Claw paws.

He's just gonna combine claw and paws

and then realize it's claws.

Or paws.

Yeah, either one.

Flint, your turn.

Okay, I'm going to use one of those healing surges,

because why not?

Because we have more than one, right, Ross?

Yeah, as long as you have to hit dice,

you have healing surges.

I certainly do.

So that's a seven.

So let's pop that back up.

Okay, I guess it's time to go back to hacking

and slashing away at this dragon.

Is there any way I could sneak a peek at him,

see maybe how he's doing health-wise?

Is he still looking great?

Is he looking a little worse for wear?

What's going on?

He's still looking pretty good.

Oh, great.

Yes.

That's exactly the answer I wanted to hear.

Not noticing much real physical damage.

Critical 19, though.

What up?

That's good for you.

I get crits on 19s and 20s.

So yeah, I guess it's like a 26 in total,

but critical.

Oh, good, five on the first one.

There we go, eight.

So that's 13 and four is 17 and seven and 12.

19 and four is 23.

So that's a 40 points of damage.

Nice.

Whoa, yeah.

Yeah, it is.

Yeah, it is.

Yeah, it is.

40.

Yeah, Amy, it is.

And with that hit, he is looking a little bloodied.

Okay, I'm going to do the sensible thing

and take a healing potion for my second attack.

That makes sense.

Or, oh damn, double fours, sweet, plus two is 10.

And that is my turn.

Anytime you girls want to use those dragon arrows,

you feel right, right ahead.

I almost have mine back.

I have one, but my rolls have been real shitty.

I believe in you.

You can do it.

At the end of your turn, Tom,

you see he rears up and beats his wings together again.

So you have to make a dexterity saving throw.

Or else the pain is coming.

17?

Fingers crossed.

God, so many dice.

Oh, that's not so bad.

So many.

That's 10 damage and you're knocked prone again.

That's the damage you just got back.

It's like you gain that damage just to lose it again,

specifically for this moment.

And Thea, it's your turn.

Is it?

Sure is.

Sure is.

You can do this.

Okay, I'm going to healing surge.

It's the dice that I have most available

because it's all I've been rolling.

I can do this.

Okay, I'm going to use my flaming sphere

and flame him right in his asshole for seven damage.

He takes half of that.

He rolled a 19.

I don't care what he rolled.

But that's just bonus action, right?

That is my bonus action.

Yeah, so I'm going to bring out my oath bow.

It's already good to go.

I take out the dragon slaying arrow

and I roll a crit 20, a match 20.

What?

Oh my God.

I told you I believed in you.

Plus two because I have a bonus too.

No, but plus two.

I've never rolled over a 20, Russell, ever.

This is 20 plus two.

This is 22, you guys.

22, all right.

Jesus.

Whew, I thought they were never going to get

in a super good hit there.

Well, hello there.

I'm your dungeon master, Ross More,

and this is episode six of Dumbgeons and Dragons,

this one titled Dragons Are Dangerouser.

It's a bit of a meatier episode

and a little more rules heavy,

so hopefully you're cool with that.

I just wanted to keep the whole battle

with Aruthatar as legit as possible

so it didn't seem swayed in one way or the other.

Couple things I wanted to touch on today.

First, thank you so much for joining us again.

It really does mean the world to us that people,

you specifically, are listening

because we're having a blast and we hope you are too.

This brings me to the reviews this week

and we have a few new ones.

Gavin Thomas 2015 says,

Awesome show, highly recommended.

Thank you, Gavin.

Skinkweasel says, Nat Crit,

great chemistry and creative DMing.

Thank you, Skinkweasel.

And DDJ026 says, great show,

great show with awesome storytelling

and chemistry amongst hosts.

Tune in now, please do,

and keep those reviews coming in.

Thank you so much.

We love hearing what you think about the show,

so if you think about it after you're done this episode,

just head over to iTunes, pump in a review there,

and that would be fantastic.

Maybe tell a friend who you think might like what we do.

You can tell them to visit DumbDragons.com.

All of our social media and email links are listed there.

On Twitter, we are at DumbDragonCast.

You can use the DumbDragonCast hashtag

so we can track you down

and find out who's talking to or about us.

On Facebook, we're at Facebook.com slash DumbDragonCast,

and if you go to that one,

it's not quite as up to date as the Twitter, I'm sorry.

Two social media things

sometimes just gets a little bit much,

but we keep them both up to date

with the latest episode details

and you'll find a little more, you know,

D&D and RPG related stuff over on Twitter

that you may find interesting there.

And you can also send us an email

to DumbDragonPodcast at gmail.com.

And that's the end of my chat notes.

Yeah, episode seven will be coming out March 15th.

Let's jump back into the layer

and see if things get less sketchy.

Fighting ancient dragons, geez, it's crazy.

Have a great couple of weeks and we'll talk to you then.

📢 Mid-roll Ad Break

I'm so excited right now.

Okay, I'm all a Twitter.

I don't know what's happening.

Oh my God, there's gonna be so many dice.

Okay.

So many, you get to roll a D10 six times, my friend.

Double damage.

Oh God.

Okay, let's start with the,

do I get to do 66 because it's regular?

Do your oath bow damage first.

That's what I'm doing.

Do I get to do 66 because it's double?

Yes.

Oh my God.

Guys, I want to kill the dragon.

Six, 10, 15, 17, 21, 25 damage on just my oath bow.

Oh my God, I'm so happy.

15, 17, 21, 25 damage on just my oath bow.

Damage.

Let me do that first.

Guys, I'm a Twitter.

I am giddy.

That was 25 and that wasn't even the dragon slaying arrow.

That was just regular.

Now you get to do.

Six D10.

Times two.

Times two.

So 12 D10.

You have two D10s if that helps you.

Here.

No, no, no, I'm good.

I got this.

I don't want to touch yours.

This is gonna be by far the most damage on one.

Okay.

That's six.

That's 11.

17.

Plus 14.

31.

Plus 10, 41.

41.

Plus 14.

54.

54.

Oh my God.

55.

55.

Plus 10.

65.

Oh my God.

Amy, you're amazing.

Wow.

Thanks for believing in me, you guys.

That is bananas.

How's he looking now?

He's not looking great.

Good.

Not looking great.

I'm expecting Salazar to come in at any moment.

Just like.

Oh, just swoop in there.

And be like.

90 points of damage.

Like am I high?

Yeah.

Pretty.

Holy shit.

Yeah.

Just about, yeah.

90 points of damage.

Wow.

Okay, that's.

Wow.

There is no better.

I've peaked, you guys.

Feel free to die.

You're good.

Thanks.

I'll die with a smile on my face.

Yeah.

Obviously, obviously I poked my head out

from where I'm hiding to do that.

Obviously.

Just saying obviously.

I didn't just shoot that many arrows

and whatever into the back of the stalagmite.

Just blindly.

I'm delusional, I don't know what's going on.

I'm like, yeah, I've damaged it in so much, you guys.

And I'm like fighting the stalagmite behind.

So he lets out a bellow because that hurt a lot.

That rocked his world.

He was used to what you guys were dishing out,

but you know.

Wow, this is a specially made one for just a dragon.

He creates, swirling out from him,

a wall of fog that covers the area where all of you are.

All four of you.

So a wall of fog is created swirling out from him.

And all around you,

a more slick type of ice is created on all the surfaces.

Everybody needs to make a dexterity saving throw.

And I'm back to my.

Me too.

Eight.

15.

Seven.

Clint, you are still standing.

Thea and Nularaaaia, you are knocked prone.

Make sure I'm not only kind of not prone

because I've snuck back behind my stalagmite.

Well, no, you got knocked down.

Can I just say that I am invisible

and all I have done this whole time

is stand up and get knocked down.

In the same slide.

I'll call you chumbo wumpa.

Don't forget you threw a spear at him

and you shot an arrow.

I've made some attacks, but I have not moved.

I've just fallen down and gotten up.

Oh, that's amazing.

He turns around.

So you notice that he has recharged his breath weapon

and has turned towards Nularaaaia and Thea there.

Good thing we're already laying down.

Just burrow in the snow and hope you're okay.

Both of you must make a constitution saving throw.

Thea, you're, make a constitution saving throw.

Okay.

19.

Wow.

Oh no, 22.

Wow.

Wish I could say the same.

Constitution is plus one.

So that is an eight.

Things are not going well for Nularaaaia.

Record scratch, freeze frame.

Yeah, that's me.

You might be wondering how I got here.

Oh my God.

Is that 37 dice?

I think there's so many.

Jesus.

He's just throwing them all into a pile now.

I think he's just torturing us now with these dice.

There's no way he's doing this much quick mental math.

Guys, it's just not happening.

I'm just gonna practice the roll six times first,

guys, don't worry about it.

It's bad news.

So Thea, you take 31.

Oh no.

Points of damage.

Nularaaaia, I think you're gonna shatter.

I think so too.

Nularaaaia, so you take 60 damage.

Oh my God.

Does that bring you to?

She's in the negative.

Bloodied negative.

Yeah, I'm minus 29.

Oh my God.

But 60, so you're not, yeah, but that's not.

Not technically more than half.

Not technically your bloodied value.

Cause if you reach your bloodied value,

you're dead, dead.

Like there's no saving throws.

You're just dead.

Oh, oh, in the negative.

So if I was negative 33.

You'd be dead, dead.

I'd be dead, dead.

You'd be dead, dead.

Well, that's pretty close, but no.

And then he begins to fly away.

Oh no, you don't.

As he can fly.

Did Donnie ever bring you back that fucking arrow?

He wasn't there yet.

And he begins to fly this way.

He would have been this turn.

So he begins to fly that way.

And it is Nularaaaia's turn.

So you have to make a saving throw against death.

I will tell you.

It's the only time we've had to do this.

Nularaaaia versus, no, didn't you die?

You almost died.

Well, Flint died in the very first little period

of the world. Yeah, Flint, you went through this.

But I think we just, then the person took off, right?

So we just healed you after that, I think.

Yeah, I think they just kind of laughed at me

and then left.

Pretty much.

That was very early on.

Roll a d20.

If the roll is 10 or higher, you succeed.

Otherwise you fail.

You have to, you have to, you have three fails

essentially before you actually die.

Okay.

Okay, I'm ready.

You can do it.

Oh, it's a 20.

Hey, what does that mean?

If you succeed.

Well, it means I can try and heal myself, probably.

Success or failure has no effect by itself.

On your third success, you become stable,

which means you are at zero hit points.

On failure, you die.

You're good for now.

So you got one success there.

Okay.

So you can, I think there's a spot on your sheet

if you want to mark that off.

But yeah.

I marked it.

And that's just what I do

at the beginning of each turn, yes?

Until someone either heals you or you are, yeah.

Exactly.

You can't do anything else

because you're unconscious at this point.

Oh, so I can't even like bonus action heal myself?

No, because you're unconscious.

You're at minus 29 hit points.

You're not moving very fast.

Well, I guess I'll just keep laying where I was laying.

Okay.

Donnie gets a turn though,

cause he was outside of that blast.

Well, Donnie can come over and, because he loves me.

Yeah.

And also now the arrow's beside me, just in case.

Oh yeah.

Flint, you're up, bud.

All right.

So now is this dragon like,

is he taken off or what's the deal?

It looks like he's attempting to make an escape.

Okay.

Well, he's pretty far away.

So I can't really catch him.

You don't have any ranged weapons, hey?

Well, I've got like a couple throwing axes,

but they don't go more than like, let's see here.

Let's make sure I counted that off, right?

He should be about there with his full movement.

Sorry.

Not that that really helps.

Please kill him with the slingshot.

You could run first.

I do have the slingshot does go further

than the throwing axes.

That's for sure.

But it only goes about 120 feet.

So I guess I could still hit them,

but they're not very powerful.

I wonder, Russ, can I make it over to Thea Newlora

and like help them at all?

Or is this something they have to do on their own?

If you were able to help them or healing check them,

you could stabilize one of them, yeah.

It would take me like two turns to get it over there.

Yeah.

Hmm.

How far did the throwing axes go?

Throwing axes go 60 feet,

but the sling can go up to 120.

Because you can move too, right?

So if you moved, you might be able to meet,

might be able to reach him with an ax, can you?

Yeah, I'd be able to hit him with an ax if I moved.

Because he's so close to dead.

I mean, I'm assuming,

because I would hope Thea gave him 90 points of damage,

like, which is bananas.

I don't want to fight him again.

I would like you to kill him.

Yeah, I don't want him to leave

and then come back and kill us later.

Yeah. Okay.

Yeah, I will try and hit him

with some throwing axes then.

Okay.

Here we go.

So that's a 20.

Hey, all right.

Throwing axes.

Oh, wow.

Woo-hoo.

That's 1d6 worth of damage.

Is it plus anything?

Well, I wish it was.

A6.

Woo!

Yay.

All right, and second attempt.

Not enough.

Okay, after your turn, he swings his tail back at you.

And 28.

Not critical.

Like to hit me?

Yeah.

Oof, all right.

And that is 16 damage.

And he continues to move.

Damn it, I should have healing surged myself

after throwing axes.

And it is Thea's turn.

Okay, so I need to take a saving throw?

You sure do.

You gotta be higher than a 10.

How about a one?

That is lower than a 10.

That is lower than a 10.

So you have a failure.

And it is his turn.

Do I not get to do anything else?

No.

Nothing?

You're unconscious,

lying on the ground with minus 13 hit points.

God damn it, no.

No, I have a plan.

So he motors out of there

and disappears into this cavern

at the end of the lair there.

And it is, we'll keep going in initiative order until

Someone's not dead.

Things are resolved.

So Nulara, you're up there.

Okay, I'll try and do something.

Nope, that's a three.

That will not do it.

Okay, Flint, you're up.

All right.

How high is this ledge

that you guys are on that I'm below?

Where you are, it's about 12 feet.

So I can't really like, can I scramble up it?

Yeah, you could with an athletics check.

Okay, I'm gonna try and scramble up it.

No, 20.

But not a crit, but a 20.

You scramble up it like it's no big deal.

So yeah, you essentially are right beside Nulara.

Okay, is it still me because the dragon's gone?

Or, oh no, they have to roll.

Well, no, it's still your turn.

So you used your move to get to Nulara.

So if you have a healing kit,

you could attempt to stabilize her.

Oh, I know I do.

Hang on, let me see how many of them I have.

I've got 18 healing kits.

So I don't think we've ever really used them.

I'm carrying around tons of healing kit.

All right, well, since I'm next to Nulara,

I will try and stabilize Nulara.

Just make a healing check.

And that would probably be under whiz.

We'll say whiz.

Just keep saying whiz.

Yeah, medicine.

Whiz.

Whiz.

Yeah, medicine.

17.

So she is now stabilized,

which means you're back at zero there, Nulara.

Really?

Oh, and I'm gonna healing surge while I've got a second.

Like, just like that,

I went from minus 29 hit points to zero hit points?

Yeah.

Yeah, I stabilized, yeah.

Wow, fucking A.

Thanks, homeboy.

You know it.

And now it's Thea's turn.

Flint, you took a healing surge?

Yeah, I got seven, by the way.

Thea, your turn.

Two fails.

I'm coming for you, Thea.

I'm coming for you.

Nulara's turn.

So you are stabilized.

You're coming back to consciousness there, Nulara.

You're quite groggy, obviously,

but you do have your...

You are able to move.

Okay, so I don't need to do a death save anymore.

You no longer need to save against death.

You can take a healing potion or surge, yeah.

You should also try to go stabilize Thea

in case we fail or anything.

I'm not doing well, you guys.

Do I surge just one hit die or as many hit die as I have?

Just one hit die.

So we're still in counter order.

Well, I'll do that.

That gets me eight hit points.

I feel amazing.

And I'll get rid of one of those.

And then I'll go over to my friend.

So you can crawl over there,

which you'd still be able to get to her

because you're lying prone.

Right, I'll crawl over.

Rather than waste your movement standing up.

Yeah.

And then yeah, medicine check

and a healing kit if you have one.

Or you can rifle through my bag

because I have a lot of healing kits.

She could take one.

That's true, yeah.

And so sorry, what do I do for healing kit?

You use a healing kit.

So whoever you take it from

and then a medicine check,

which is on your list there.

Oh, so just a D20 and then that is wisdom.

Yeah, plus your wisdom bonus.

So that is 16.

So she is also stabilized.

Excellent.

Did you take a healing kit from me?

I did.

Okay.

So yeah, she is also stabilized back to zero.

I guess Flint's turn.

We can go finish up the order here.

So I guess we should move towards where that dragon is.

Hey, welcome back to the land of the living,

but like we got shit to do.

I understand that, yeah.

All right.

Yeah, I will take my movements.

So you can take two movements

if you're not making an action, yeah.

Well, I was gonna take a healing potion

and do a healing surge.

Yeah, for sure.

Two shades.

Shades everywhere.

Three on the healing potion

and two is five plus two is seven

because I'm good at the maths.

And a healing surge.

I need that eight with a five.

I will take it.

And Thea.

So you are also stabilized

and beginning to become more aware of things.

Yeah, so you take a healing surge.

Yeah, I'm gonna healing surge

and I'm gonna take a healing potion, which does what?

2d4 plus four.

Plus two.

Six.

That's the most awkward rules ever.

And you're gonna just maintain lying prone?

No, I'll stand up and I will whisper.

I don't think there's anything special I whisper,

but I take out my Jade Owl.

I was just gonna say, is there a Jade Owl

we can hop on?

I'm like, guacamole, this was, it was a plan for earlier.

I didn't expect to die very like, yeah.

It just, you know, I had all that damage

and then all of a sudden I died.

So yeah, hey, guacamole, come on out.

And what kind of magical noise would it make

to have a giant owl be released from its Jade

imprisonment?

So there's a magical owl that appears in front of you.

Yeah, I snuggle it.

I snuggle it.

You can snuggle.

I snuggle my owl.

Nularaaaa, your turn.

I missed you, guacamole.

Okay, I'm gonna do another healing surge.

Yes, everybody get on the owl.

Flint will go pick you up.

And I will do a healing potion to, okay.

Also I stood up.

Makes sense, yeah.

Okay, Flint.

Yeah, I'll keep moving.

I'll do another healing surge on the way

and that'll be, oh, I guess I can move twice, eh?

Thea.

I healing surge myself.

Running out of hit dice, you guys.

And I hop onto guacamole's back

and I enjoy the warmth that she emits.

And.

Guacamole can take a move.

Yes, yes she can.

Yeah.

Can she like, I don't know.

Like I wanna get down to where Flint is.

Can she just, can she gently in her claws

pick Nularaaaa up and fly us over to Flint?

Sure, yeah.

Yeah, it would like, damage Nularaaaa.

Like we've been through enough.

So she probably could move.

I can tell you exactly what she can move.

By 60 feet.

Nularaaaa, so you're in the talons of an owl.

Cool, sounds cool.

Yeah.

Sounds very hobbitish.

It can, it can.

Very hobbitish.

It can let her down.

It can fly and then just.

Sia, you're on guacamole, right?

I am.

Okay, so she puts me down

cause she can carry all of us, right?

Oh yeah.

Oh yeah, so she puts me down.

My action can, I'll get on her.

For sure.

Cause I stood up.

I'm not prone anymore.

I'm cool.

I am going to take healing surge.

Yep.

I totally just rolled.

Oh no, that is the right dice.

All right.

I thought I had D8 and I rolled a nine

and was like, oh, well that can't be right.

But it is.

Oh crap, I totally rolled the D8 last time.

Oh well, that's fine.

And I guess I will take another healing potion

cause still not the best.

How many healing potions do you have?

Zero now.

I guess that is all that I can do,

but I have 34 hit points again.

So that's pretty good.

That's positive.

Yeah.

Flintz, your turn.

All right.

We'll move a little better on the angles.

Hopefully maybe I can see in there

and I will healing surge before I move again,

just in case there's any real sort of problem.

That's right around the corner.

Sweet nine.

All right, can I see anything in there yet Russ?

You are, yeah, you're more or less right in front

and you see an empty cavern,

but at the back of the cavern,

there is a chute that goes down

and there's a pool of water.

So, and it looks like that water

has been disturbed quite recently.

Do you also want to make a perception check?

Certainly.

18.

You notice a right in the doorway,

a floating very small crystal-esque item,

almost a piece of just frost

just hovering in the air about head height.

It looks seriously out of place to you.

So is it like right in front of me

or is it still a little ways away?

No, it's just hovering in one spot right in front of you.

What should I do, guys?

Do you think I should just like reach out and grab it?

Or do you think it's gonna cut my arm off?

I don't think you should touch it.

Okay, I will just stay put at the entrance then.

Okay, so you notice that obviously

there is no dragon in there.

So the encounter is over.

Okay.

So it's just what do you guys want to do now?

I think we should go get Macoth

and ask her what the heck this thing is.

I'm gonna look at it.

Yeah, cause you probably have arcana.

Yeah, I do, I do.

Okay.

Cause that might help.

I get guacamole to fly us over there

and I take a nice long look at it.

14.

You recognize that it is a spell, a trap spell,

but you can't quite determine what it would do

if it were to be set off.

Part of me wants to continue after the dragon,

like somehow from afar set off this spell trap

and then go past.

And because I feel like if we let him go now,

we're gonna lose the trail and who knows where he can go.

What you see in the cavern is a chute

that descends down into the ocean,

the frigid waters of the ocean.

Oh, I don't think guacamole would like going down there.

No.

So it's not a cave, it is a underwater cavern.

Then I agree with Flint.

Yeah, we'll go see Macoth.

Is there a spell you can light the ocean on fire?

Is there a spell you could light the ocean on fire?

Yes. No.

There might be, but you don't have it.

Oh, yes, ocean fire.

The level six instrument spell.

Just lights the entire world's oceans on fire.

It's real end game content there.

You clamber back up there and you bring Macoth down

and show her what you see.

And she says, well, it's a good thing

you didn't touch it,

because that there is a frost vortex spell.

So if it's triggered, it creates.

A frost vortex?

On a central point, a vortex of frost

that would hurt you very, very bad.

Really glad you didn't touch it, Flint.

Yeah, that was a good call, guys.

Should I just reach her to grab it?

She says, I don't see him, is he dead?

We tried our best, but he managed to slink away.

Yeah, he's hurt.

He's like really close, he's badly hurt.

If he fled, he likely has left to heal

which will take some considerable time.

So if we are to leave, we should leave soon

and move as quickly as possible.

So no epic retelling of our battle

against the dragon for you?

Well, I heard from down the chute,

it was going quite good for you

throughout most of it there.

Well, there's a couple rough patches.

You are very clearly stronger warriors

than I anticipated you being.

But I would advise that we tell the story on the boat

and make haste and get the fuck out of here.

Let's get some advice.

That sounds like a good plan.

Yes.

Does Makoth have any healing powers?

But it doesn't matter, right?

Because if we take a long rest, then we're okay again.

We're good as gold.

Yeah, she does, but yeah, we'll deal with that later.

So yeah, you guys pack up.

Hop on.

My owl, let's fly out of here.

She asks as you guys are leaving,

she's like, did you want any of the treasures down here?

Yes, and I start to pile them

into that magic bag she gave me.

And you notice that they're all encased in the ice.

I use flame, produce flame,

and I melt the shit out of the ice

and I take what I want.

Makoth, is there anything that you see

that is of particular value

that we should maybe try to get?

That's a good question.

What about the dracorn?

We never did.

The dracorn was moved.

Oh, right, right.

The dracorn was moved from this location.

She says, yes, there are some books

up in the perch area there that I would need,

but as you guys have well-earned,

there is tons of gold and jewels and gems as well.

Let's do it.

Let's get stuff.

I like stuff.

Yeah, sure.

We gotta just stick around and,

well, I mean, I guess we can heal on the boat, but.

You guys, after some good spending of time,

you all get a total of 700 gold pieces.

1,000 silver pieces and 20 precious stones,

which are worth a total of 2,000 gold pieces

at trade value.

Russ. Yeah.

I would like to use a plot point.

Yeah, for sure.

To establish that I found what will essentially

be some sort of ice grenade.

So it will be like a ball of ice

that is, you can't touch it with your bare hands,

but when you throw it at an opponent,

if it shatters at their feet,

it freezes their feet to the ground

for like a 10, 15 foot radius, that sort of thing.

Hey, Nulara.

That's fun.

Did you find anything of interest

that would complete our three plot points?

Yes.

I used one, right?

I used one.

No, you used yours on the last encounter.

You haven't used yours yet.

Oh, I thought it was within like a story.

No, it's within an encounter.

One to start, yeah.

Yes, Flint, I'm gonna look up

what the damage could be for that here.

How does the plot point work again?

If we all make one,

then we get them all back next time?

If you all make one, you get an extra one now.

Oh, I see.

I feel like these are just tacked onto the end.

I like yours, Flint,

but I can't honestly think of something that I would.

Well, what about this?

Thea, you should find another one of those arrows

that does mega dragon damage.

Yeah.

You know what?

I think I did find one of those.

Totally you did.

And then the amazing thing that I learned

in one of McCott's books

was how to make those arrows

like boomerang arrows that returned to us

after we have shot them.

What?

I think that,

so is that like a spell that you cast on an arrow?

Yeah, we cast, we find a spell

in one of McCott's books,

probably the same one

where she learned how to enchant those darn arrows.

And we cast the spell on them

so that after they are fired.

They return to us.

If they don't find their mark, they return to us.

I'm gonna say yes to all of that.

There will be some stipulations.

Flint, I'll look up your grenade stuff

and figure out what we're gonna do with that.

Thea, you now have two dragon arrows total.

And then I will look up,

I'm gonna say, yes, you can,

we will find a spell for your boomerang arrow,

but there's gonna be some things

that you're going to need to find,

which I will tell you at the beginning of next time,

some sort of component that you need to track down

in order to complete that spell.

Okay, sounds good.

So after getting all this treasure,

you guys head back up through the caves

and up into the village.

And you explain to the Ice Hunter tribe

what has gone down

and the fact that Arithitar has been driven off.

And you see them pretty much

give a double take to each other

and quickly pack up whatever they can load

into their boats and they GTFO.

They're gone, they're going.

So you load all your treasures into the boat

and you guys sail off to take Macoth

and all the stolen materials

from the Arcane Brotherhood back to Luskin.

Music in today's episode was by Kavin MacLeod

of incompetent.filmmusic.io.

Dumbgeons and Dragons is presented to you

by the

Arithitar family of the Arithitar family.

And our special guest is Kavin MacLeod.

Music is brought to you by the Arithitar family

of the Arithitar family.

And our special guest is Kavin MacLeod

Dumbgeons and Dragons is a Dumb Dragons production.